Mummy without a cause


Born thousands of years ago, an unremarkable middle son of a Pharaoh who had over 77 children, Discothep enjoyed dancing, drinking and brewing the new “beer” that had just been invented, and seeking to outdo his father in illegitimate offspring. He’s also a decent “bass harp” player. Either through luck or natural impotence, Discothep never impregnated a female despite bedding hundreds of peasants and nobles. He had and survived every venereal disease in the ancient world, through a combination of magic and an early medicinal treatment involving pouring boiling honey (honey has natural antibiotic properties) down his urethra via a hideous bamboo catheter. The resulting abrasions made it easy to get infected again, and the cycle repeated itself until Discothep earned the nickname “Eggplant dick”.

As his brothers died off due to war or their refusal to undergo the boiling-honey-bamboo-treatment for their own issues, Discothep rose through the ranks of his father’s family-helpers. As he performed accounting duties, judge duties, and weights and measures standards inspection, he gained an unhealthy distaste for peasants. They smell, can’t appreciate a good bass line, and are no good at sex.

In more modern times, Discothep still plays a mean bass harp and chases the ladies, although it turns out mummy rot is the VD from hell.


The Universal Monsters vs. Evil enekich DR_Payne